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Voters Demand Action as Rumors Fly that Oklahoma Tornado might be Muslim

May 22, 2013

At least 24 people have been killed when a 1.3 mile wide tornado struck Moore and Oklahoma City earlier this week, but the latest development will chill the blood of even the most hardened storm watcher. According to an anonymous source, the tornado was in fact a Muslim, which if true, by the immutable laws of the universe, will require the United States government to randomly kill at least one thousand people throughout the Middle East. The tornado had been spotted praying, but eyewitnesses have only confirmed it to have prayed four times a day, but it may have prayed a fifth time when know one was looking. Because of the tornado’s high speed rotation, it was difficult to determine which way it was facing, but thanks to a high resulution Dopplar radar, we now know that the tornado faced Mecca for a fraction of a second longer than other directions.

A local resident of Moore we interviewded said: “It was bad enough when the tornado destroyed my house and killed my dog, but if that thing was Muslim, heads are going to roll.”

President Obama held a press conference earlier today saying “We will unquestionably be forced to invade Syria in retaliation to this fundamental Islamist tornado taking the lives of our citizens. We cannot rule out a preemptive nuclear strike against the upper atmosphere and/or a random country in the Middle East.”

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